potty mouth

Jr. came in from recess today, very upset that Michael was saying bad words.  I have been teaching 7 year olds long enough that I know better than to take that statement at face value.  What exactly did he say?  Jr. leans close and whispers, "toilet crap," which isn't terrible, but is worth calling Michael back to have a little talk.  Michael denies saying bad words, insisting that he never, never said "toilet crap"  Well then, what DID you say?  And in the interest of full disclosure, he leans close and admits he never said a bad word, only 'holy crap.'  You see in a 7 year olds world, 'toilet crap' would be a very rude and unmentionable thing to say, but 'holy crap' is completely acceptable.

I got a letter in the mail today.  When I saw the sender, my heart started pounding and my hands started sweating...it was from Superior Court of California, County of Kern.  They've changed their mind and are hauling me off to jail for my indiscretion...nope, actually they are thanking me for my recent 'unprecedented' service as a juror.  I am sure they are referring to the length of service, not my early dismissal...And as a bonus prize, I don't have to serve on a jury for the next 3 years.  I have been excused through March 2012.  Isn't that nice?

The trial is over.  Guilty across the board!

http://www.bakersfield.com/hourly_news/story/721968.html

One of those days

Today Aly put a bead to her ear, to pretend it was an earring, and it "just flicked" in.  I asked to see in her ear, she said I would need a flashlight.  I did.  The bead was lodged out of sight.  Her mom picked her up and took her to the doctor.  She is one of my most mature students, it just goes to show you never know what an 8 year old will do.  Then Cody changed the words  "Duck,Duck, Goose" to "Duck, Duck, Toilet Paper".  The kids thought it was hilarious.  He is not one of my more mature 8 year olds.  Josh did not take his pills this morning.  He was too busy and forgot.  I bet he was busy.  He never stopped moving all day.  I had to put him in the hall because he couldn't stop singing at the top of his voice.  I told him he could sing all he wanted in the hall, but then the other classes were bothered...I tried to quiet him down, but it didn't work.  He sang until lunch. Tristen couldn't concentrate during reading because he used hand sanitizer on his hands and he didn't like the way they smelled.  Like stinky cheese.  He washed them with soap.  No good.  I gave him pretty smelling lotion.  (And everyone else in the reading group) Only worked for awhile.  He fussed about the way his hands smelled all day.  When he lay on the floor, we just stepped over him.  3:17 finally came, and they all went home.  Tomorrow is another day...I hope

A raindrop poem by Hayden, age 8.

If a raindrop could talk it would say drop.
He would say drop.
I would say drop.
He would say drop, drop, drop, drop.
I would say, Stop saying drop.
It sayed drop.
The raindrop died.
I said at his funerale, here lies drop.
Everyone started to scream.
I shot a pistol
Finally they stopped.

You never know what a second grader is going to come up with when given a writing assignment.

Even 3 year olds have technology language now

Aiden told us on Friday that his name was now Kevin.org.  All night long he corrected us when we called him Aiden, until Scott finally called him Kevin.org and Aiden said, "That was before, now I am Aiden."

Supposedly Hives

I went to the doctor yesterday. She said that the rash that has been BUGGING me for the last week is hives.  Of the bumpy kind, not the bee kind.  After much discussion of how nothing has changed in my world of cleaning products, we decided to blame them on the trial.  But wait, you say, aren't you done with the trial?  Apparently, the doctor says, sometimes your body can handle the stress until  the stressful situation is over, and THEN out come the itchy bumps.  She was shocked at the large area of my body that is covered.  Across my back, down my spine, on the backs of both knees, in the crooks of both elbows, on both hips, and my scalp. She ordered $140.00 worth of lotion (thank you Kaiser co-pay of $5.00!) to counteract the nasty things.  And a stronger antihistimine than Benadryl, which I had been taking to no avail. She kindly offered a steroid shot, which I declined.  The sincere hope is that I will be bump free in 5 days.