Am I ok?

OK, everybody, stop worrying about me.  Am I okay?  Yes...and no.  Yes, I feel sad everyday.  I miss Aiden.  I feel sad for Scott and Abby and Sam and all the rest of the family who are also missing Aiden.  But also, yes, I am going on with life.  I go to work and enjoy the kids, and eat lunch with the other teachers and talk about their kids and husbands and dogs and vacations and I enjoy that, and I have family over and go to soccer games and play with babies and watch TV...while at the same time, there is always an underlayer of sadness.  But I am not worried about me.  I feel what I feel and I am fine.  When I don't want to talk, I don't.  But that doesn't mean I am not acknowledging my grief, I just don't want to dwell in it...to wallow in it.  I have lots of private time to grieve and I do.  Do I still spend fruitless time and energy wishing it had never happened? Yes.  Do I still spend fruitless time and energy wondering about where he is now? Yes.  Am I tired of having to tell people I am ok? YES!  

Aiden giving the weather report at the Lori Brock Museum.  It was very serious work!