How does having faith help? Don't know...

For the last few years as I have lost (and I do not use this as a wimpy euphemism because I am reluctant to use the word die, I use it because it is how I feel after the people I care about have died, I feel that I have lost Frank, Penny,  Carol, Dory, Dad, Kathy, Ray, Aiden) these people in my life, I have been trying to figure out what life means.  Death/Life...can't have one without the other.  I don't know what the purpose of my life or anyone's life is without some kind of faith in God.  I have to believe in the soul, and I have to believe that it does not disappear into nothingness.  And if there is an eternal heavenly life, what is the point of this life?

Thank goodness CS Lewis has trod this path before me.  So in slowly reading his journal after his beloved Joy died, he asks the same questions I ask, and since he is SO smart and honest, reading his journal is almost like reading my own, if I were to keep one, which I don't because I am too lazy...

Like this:
 "Talk to me of the truth about religion and I'll listen gladly.  Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively.  But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I will suspect that you don't understand."

Yeah, I don't care about seeing them again one day "on that happy shore".  I am mourning the life that we do not now have and the future that we will never have.

Not sure what the answers are, I haven't gotten to the end of this little book, I have a feeling there are no answers, but there are lots of questions and I will not flinch from asking them, as CS Lewis doesn't flinch. So I don't know where I am going, and even if I will know when I get there...