With a 2 year old, its all about distraction...

Yesterday was Easter.  What does one do on Easter? Play bells at church and have an Easter egg hunt.  We were enjoying a lovely potluck breakfast, especially my favorite classic Lutheran potluck recipe, the one with cool whip, cottage cheese, dry orange jello, coconut, pineapple and mandarin oranges, while the youth group was hiding eggs for the little ones.  They were smart and hid eggs in front for the big kids and on the playground for the little kids.  What they didn't know was that Alice has coveted that playground for months.  Every time we go by, she begs to play on the brightly colored plastic slides and toys.  So yesterday when the gate to the forbidden garden was finally open to her, she could care less about eggs.  Even eggs with CANDY in them.  ALL she wanted to do was to play on the toys.  And it was cold (later in the day it became warm and beautiful, but at the moment of the egg hunt, there was a very chilly wind blowing.) So after helping her put half a dozen eggs in her little basket, Abby tried to get her to leave.  No.  Not happening.  Pitch a fit! Scream at the top of your powerful little lungs.  Abby, with her 36 weeks pregnant belly, tries to pick her up, but she is juggling toddler, diaper bag, and Easter basket, so I carry the Screaming Siren out to the car.  She is not just crying, she is flat out screaming...and I walk through the church with her to the parking lot.  Oh, look, an airplane flies overhead.  Instant silence.  Smiles.  Waves at the airplane.  "Hi plane, hi!" Her chubby little hand is waving at the plane and all the trauma from 3 seconds before is gone.  Abby puts her smiling in the car and drives off.  Scott and I shake our heads and go home.

Always thinking about Aiden

When Aiden was in preschool, he had lots of friends (and a couple of frenemies) but one of the boys we heard about a lot, was, let's say, Mario.  Mario didn't speak much English, but boys have a common language that does not require words, and so they were able to play and develop a friendship.  I had his big sister  in my class when things went to hell in their family.  Drugs, money, guns...you know how it is...We got involved with trying to help the mom and kids and when Mario was in second grade he was in Scott's class.  I knew that the baby in the family was named Aiden, but what I just found out was that Mario's mother told him he could name the baby and so named him Aiden, after his good friend at school. I love that our Aiden will be remembered in that family for all of little Aiden's life.

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Wine trip to Pismo and Paso Robles

We joined Marc and Sonrisa for a day of wine tasting, picnicking, swimming and fine dining.  And then came the animals... 

Alligator petting at Peachy Canyon...this alligator was rescued from a crack house by the LA Sheriff's dept.  Luckily, he found a good home with Zoo to You, and this caretaker who has had him for 16 years.

First stop was at Grey Wolf.  We tasted wine and then played with a lemur!

Scott on the patio at Hearthstone

What a perfect day we had! Three hours from Tehachapi to Arroyo Grande, we started at Laetitia. We sat in the sun in a pair of comfy adirondack chairs and waited for Marc and Sonrisa to arrive.  We already felt so lucky to be here in this place at this time, satisfied just to be sitting in the sun waiting for friends looking forward to a lovely picnic. Warm enough to swim overlooking the ocean and dinner at Ventana Grill, couldn't have asked for a better day.

Reagan Library

It was quite a fun day, all in all.  It only took 30 seconds of being in the library before I was called an idiot by a man walking by.  Mind your own business, man! But after that, we ignored the Reagan propaganda and enjoyed the history. The lunch was delicious, and our table mates were interesting and compassionate (Gita really got their attention when she told the story of meeting Matthew, home from Afghanistan,  in Texas this weekend.  The ladies at the table all cried.) We walked down Air Force One!  and the best part was the Spy Exhibit.  Shoe phones and hidden cameras.  The ice pick that assassinated Leon Trotsky in Mexico.  The umbrella that poked ricin into the spy in London.  A submarine CANOE! Hidden cameras and secret tunnels. A laser maze, which I totally failed at navigating.  I was crawling through the secret tunnel when I heard someone laughing hysterically, you know the kind of laughter where tears flow, and I thought, " That is my mother laughing!" and when I crawled out of the tunnel, I discovered it wasn't so secret after all.  She was watching me on a hidden camera. I began reading spy novels in high school, and devoured Helen MacInnes, John Le Carre and Ian Fleming books with gusto.  So to see all of those gadgets and to play spy was fun.  BTW, Gita was Mrs. Peel and I got to be Agent 99.  And then there was the young woman who came running to the elevator our little docent led group was getting into and pushed her way in, followed by a red faced security guard screaming "Did you just flip me off?" The young woman, who looked a little sketchy, claimed innocence, "I was waving at my mother" Stunned silence as the elevator door closed.

Sorry about the terrible quality picture.  I had to take a picture of my phone with the computer to get it on here.  This is me, the idiot. 

Awake at 4:58 am in Waianae

Why am I awake ? Hmmmm. That is a long and interesting story. It all started Tuesday night. We were getting the house and pets ready for our leaving them in the capable hands of Carina. The short version of this part of the story is that I was holding Patch when she saw Kato and had a hissy (literally) fit. Kato barks and lunges, Patch bites...unfortunately, it was my hand that she bit. And wrist. And arm. She also got Kato in the lip.. That cat has mad super powers! I washed and neosporined myself up, found some antibiotics from Dr. Wells, dds, and went to bell choir practice. My hand oozed and swelled, but all I could think about was getting to Hawaii. So after not sleeping a wink, we got up at 2:30 and left for Burbank. It was more than a little painful and very swollen. Uh oh. I texted Susie from our layover in Seattle and told her I may need to see a dr ...I knew there was Kaiser in Honolulu so I knew I would be taken care of. By the time we landed, I had red streaks going up my arm to my elbow, I was shaking uncontrollably, nauseous, and light headed. I hurt like heck...no, it was cuss worthy pain, I hurt like hell! We were stuck in Honolulu traffic, so my wonderful personal assistant got on his smart phone, found kaiser's number, talked to several different people and was told to turn around and take me to the Kaiser ER. Which Susie managed very well, and even Maxwell was very good natured with his long stint in the car. Of course, he did have grandma sitting in the car next to him...singing and making faces...kaiser was suitably impressed with my injury, and many caring nurse and doctor type people came and went. Took blood. Took x-rays. Put in an IV with antibiotics. Brought me heated towels and numbed my hand for about ten blessed minutes, during which time they opened and irrigated the wounds, THAT was fun...!!! Joe arrived and Susie took Maxwell home. Finally, I was discharged with antibiotics, anti emetics, and pain meds. Stopped at McD's for a Big Mac and our first night of vacation was about over.  Oh, and oxycodone...that is good stuff! Made me want to live again! So today I have an appt with an orthopedic, my swelling is down, red streaks are gone and we go to Hilo to see volcanoes and waterfalls.  But...big sad face...no swimming in the ocean. And I feel better, so I am up and awake early...ready to start the day. In Hawaii!

Notice the good

I had this post written as I lounged in bed this morning, listening to someone laugh outside my window and the crunch and swish of the leaves as someone else walked by, but now I am sitting here drinking my coffee and wanting to turn on the TV...The Amazing Race is waiting.  The movie I saw Saturday, and the radio show I listened to yesterday and the devotional I read a few days ago are swirling around my head and I am not sure if I can pull it together. So...just start.
You know this picture?

Well, the little Vietnamese girl whose clothes were burned off of her by a napalm bomb spent many years being bitter and angry.  She is now in her 50's and lives in Canada and finally realized that she was wasting her life and now looks for the joy in the present instead of living in the despair of the past.  I am definitely paraphrasing what I heard on the radio show (which was about the ethics of spending scientific resources on instruments of war and destruction, nothing about my topic) She has changed her focus...negative to positive.

If you could live every day of your adult life twice, what would you do differently the second time around?  How would you use that "do-over" to live better?  

THAT

is how we should be living the days that we are given.

Not "That inconsiderate person just woke me up early on a holiday morning..." But, "Someone is laughing! Early on a holiday, how wonderful to be awoken by laughter!"

The sunshine on the leaves

not

the shadows under the roots

smiles

not

frowns

 love

not

criticism

As for me, I choose joy.  I choose belief. I choose hope. I choose life.

Conquer Chiari Walk Across America

Another year beginning...I was talking to a retired teacher the other day and she told me that she still feels that September is the new year, not January.  I understand exactly what she means.  And with the beginning of a new year is the realization-again- that the world has moved on without Aiden.  In my mind he has continued to grow, just as his classmates have and I have to remind myself that he stopped at 5 years 11 months 3 weeks.  It is not just that he is not here now, but now I have to remember that he also missed first grade, and second grade and now his classmates are going to third grade.

Also at the "beginning" of our year is the Chiari Malformation Walk which we will walk on September 21 in memory of Aiden.